Time really must fly when you’re having fun, because I was shocked to discover that it’s been over nine months since we last sat down with Knicks’ legend Walt “Clyde” Frazier — or more specifically, his Twitter alter ego, @NotWaltFrazier. Clyde was eager to share his views on the no-luck Knicks and some other topics, so without further ado:
I’m ready for more mixin’ with The LoHud Knicksin’! Let’s do it.
My man! It’s been a while since we last caught up with you. How was your off-season? Did you spend the summer in St. Croix?
Lo-Hud the Stud! As always, it’s a pleasure beyond measure. My off-season was a combination of relaxation and mental taxation. With all the doubt caused by the lockout, I considered messin’ with another profession! Imagine me and my championship ring at Burger King. Biggie sizin’ and side of fries’n!
The Knicks shocked everyone by signing Tyson Chandler, seemingly out of nowhere. What was your reaction when you heard about Grundwald’s acquisition?
I’ve always thought Tys was nice, even as a neophyte alongside Eddie “McFlurry” Curry. That tandem left a sad memorandum. They had a chance to be terrific and prolific! And you know me; anyone who brings defensive pugnacity I’ll support with voracity!
Now, just 15 games into the season, New York is just 6-9, and they seem to lack chemistry on offense and defense. What’s wrong with the team?!
Ah, yes, that full-court fluidity remains reclusive and elusive! I think it’s still a bit precocious to leap to a diagnosis, but I’ll tell you this: with no clear orchestrator, you’re stuck at the .500 equator. An NBA team is like a wardrobe, in order to rise you must accessorize!
Do you think Coach D’Antoni deserves the blame for the team’s sluggish start?
The truth is, when the play’s this unpleasant, the blame is omnipresent. I won’t be singlin’ the man whose mustache is Pringlin’. Speaking of that ‘stache, though, Coach D’ needs a consultation in follicular conservation! A little Just For Men dabbin’ and he’ll be back to lady-heart grabbin’!
You played PG when you were in the NBA. Let’s talk about Toney Douglas. What’s wrong with him?
Ha-ha! TD as an offense-creator is like Craig Sager as a fashion-innovator. Such a blunderous miscastin’, it’s no wonder they’re lambastin’! Playing the point takes both a special capacity and a natural sagacity. If he doesn’t have it by now, it’s probably time for band-aid rippin’ and abandon shippin’!
And rookie Iman Shumpert? Are you impressed by his game already? He reminds some people of you, specifically on the defensive end.
Iman the Don Juan? He’s got NYC romancin’ and Shumpty Dancin’, with his impressive inkin’ and big shot sinkin’! There’s no doubt his Shumpin’ gets fans’ hearts thumpin’, but I’ll need to see some maturity before I can stump for Shump with more security.
What about Baron Davis, is he the missing ingredient for the Knicks?
First of all, his beard is weird, right? It’s like a cross between LeBron’s hairy neckin’ and Harden’s triple deckin’! I like BD – after all, he called me the foundation for his style inspiration! But I’ll stop short at calling him the missing piece that will give this team release.
Recently, we’ve heard grumblings from the media and fans alike about STAT ‘n Melo’s inability to mesh on the offensive end. What have you seen, and what can be done to fix things?
I made this prediction with conviction a year ago! But fans weren’t having my truth-bombin’ and Nostrodamin’! Bottom line is, I think this precipitous mixin’ is far beyond fixin’. But perhaps Amar’e can do some outreachin’ in the form of fashion teachin’. If they’re both Italian-cut swaggin’, maybe it’ll extend to victory snaggin’!
Speaking of style, Craig Sager’s still working the sidelines in his iconic wild outfits. How is your relationship with your fellow fashion maven?
Iconic?! Sager’s suits are moronic! Histrionic! Bubonic! These days, there’s more civility than hostility, but a friendship will always be haltin’ as long as he continues his ocular assaultin’! Did you see this guy wore a glittered necktie?! I guess some are just driven to create while others choose to nauseate!
You’ve got a new partner in the booth these days, former Lakers play-by-play man, Spero Dedes. How has he handled the transition?
Ha ha! Spero the Hero! The neophyte is a delight, isn’t he? He’s made an instant contribution with his precocious elocution. And his youthful follicular sheen is a Just For Men dream! I just hope Mike “The Machine” Breen doesn’t get too jealous. I’m way too old to be entanglin’ in commentator love-trianglin’.
News broke last year that you’re planning on getting into the restaurant biz. What can we expect from a dining experience with Clyde at the helm?
Food has always been a passion beyond my flair for fashion. Just ask all the lovelies who’ve succumbed to temptation and shared my copulation. Come sunrise, before I was evictin’, I’d always treat them to some eggs benedictin’! As you’d expect, at any restaurant with my namesakin’, the deliciousness is gonna be heart-achin’! Take it from me, there’s no better prelude to a night of lady-pleasin’ than some gastronomical-aphrodisin’!
Thanks a lot for sitting down with me, Clyde. Let’s do it again soon.
Anytime. Can’t help but smilin’ when you pop up on my speed-dialin’!
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